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Shelby Ann Goldberg (née Disbrow) (born September 6, 1971) is the mother of Jacob, Joshua and Jayden, and wife to Adam. She works as a dietitian and diabetes educator.

Due to Adam working long hours, Shelby felt like a single parent. The children refused to listen or respect her & at one point, she cried that she didn't enjoy being a parent. In the face of repeated disobedience (such as her kids not going to bed when she asked them to), Shelby felt "sometimes giving in is the only way."

Shelby invented imaginary police officers to get her twin sons to behave. When they acted out, she would say, "Do you want me to make a phone call?" and pretend to call the pretend police (Policeman Smith and Policeman Jones) until they were scared enough to obey. If the kids continued to disobey, she would make the call to Adam, who would pretend to be the officers and use pretend voices to talk to the kids.

Jo pointed out to Shelby that she should have the authority to make her kids behave, not hand over that authority to pretend police officers.

She was 37 at the time and is now 47 in 2018.

Quotes

  • "This is nonsense! We are going home, and you're going to owe me a time out when we get home!"
  • "Come out of the car!"
  • "Do not stick your tongue out at me!"
  • "It’s not funny."
  • "Pick up all these right now."
  • "Get in your room and close the door."
  • "Jayden!"
  • "I can’t fight with you."
  • "Sit up, Joshua. Sit up. This is your warning."
  • "I asked you to sit up. You did not sit up. Come with me."
  • "You need to sit in time out and listen to me."