Episode summary
Jo visits the Turner family in Tucson, Arizona where Adam (42) and Shelby (37) have three crazy kids: 6-year-old twin boys Jacob and Joshua, and 3-year-old daughter Jayden.
The twins constantly misbehave and Shelby has even resorted to calling imaginary police officers as a threat to get the boys to behave.
Jacob is prone to violent outbursts while Jayden throws temper tantrums. Joshua thinks everything is a joke. Shelby and Adam don't give their kids consequences and Adam struggles to control his temper.
Can Jo help Shelby & Adam discipline their kids? Can she help Adam learn to tame his temper?
Episode recap
Submission reel
Adam and Shelby have three children: Joshua, Jacob and Jayden. Adam is a captain paramedic at a local fire department and works 24-hour shifts. Shelby, a dietitian and diabetes educator, says she knows what it feels like to be a single parent as a result. Jacob has a bad temper like his father, Joshua laughs everything off, and Jayden is starting to throw tantrums and hit people. The misbehavior isn't limited to home, it's everywhere, including dinners out.
Shelby doesn't get respect from the kids and doesn't know what to do to manage their behavior. Adam is tired of saying "Stop!" a hundred times a day. They're at the end of their rope as nothing they do seems to change the kids' behavior.
Observation
Jo observes that Adam has a short fuse. He yells often, feels guilty about it, then cries. The boys know how to push his buttons. Meanwhile, Shelby has resorted to calling imaginary policemen to get her twin boys to behave.
Parent meeting
Jo asks Adam and Shelby what they will do about Officers Smith and Jones when the kids get older and want to see them.
Teaching
Shelby introduces the House Rules
Shelby introduces the new House Rules to demonstrate her authority. They are:
- Be kind with your words
- Do not hurt others
- Do as you are told, 100%
- Use good manners
- Be nice to others
- Share nicely
Then Jo introduced discipline for when House Rules are broken. She said, "Let's face it. Policeman Jones and Policeman Smith need to face retirement." She gives the parents police badges to reinforce that the parents have the authority, not imaginary officers and "Say goodbye to Officers Smith and Jones for good!"
Shelby gets to exercise her authority when Jacob takes a lollipop without permission. She drags him to timeout. Jo reports, "She needs to get active to show these kids she's not messing around!" She gives Shelby a firm talking-to. "Backbone!" Jo insists. "Find it, OK? Woman to woman, find it, OK? If you don't, that kid is going to walk all over you, like he's been doing it for years!"
Energized by Jo's reprimands, Shelby yelled at Jacob to sit on the cube, keep his shirt on, and stop kicking.
Now that discipline at home is working, Jo takes it on the road. She shows a chart that lists when it's OK to be goofy and silly ("Kids at play") and when it's not. Adam and Shelby are shocked to find that the kids know when goofiness is OK and when it's not. To test this knowledge, Jo has the parents take the kids to the library. Adam and Shelby are scared to try this as the library is the quietest place in the world. But everything turns out fine at the library, and the kids behave fine. Shelby calls it "the most lovely time I've ever had with the kids in a public place." Adam reports, "It was a great trip."
Supernanny Tip: What should you do with a picky eater? The answer is C: Encourage a few bites.
Jo coaches Adam on what to do to be prepared when kids get out of control. This includes counting to 10 when you're losing it, and when you feel out of control, make a choice to get over it and use self-discipline. Jo asks Shelby to help Adam get control of his short fuse. Adam acknowledges that he reacts too quickly and then feels horrible, and doesn't want to be in that position. Adam feels peace of mind knowing he has a process in place if he starts feeling like he's losing control.
When Jayden refuses to eat dinner, Adam gives her a warning. She loses it and starts screaming. Jo talks Adam through taking Jayden to timeout without shouting. Jayden repeatedly left timeout, but Adam placed her back each time. Jo reports that this was "emotionally challenging for Dad." Adam counts to 10, which helps, but Jayden is relentless and keeps "throwing out the sticks that will keep hurting [Adam's] heart," which makes Adam cry. Jo reminds him that Jayden is just trying to pull his strings and it's his job to show her the right thing to do. He calms down and finishes timeout. Adam reports that they both learned that "Behaviors needed to be fixed, we do it lovingly, and it was a good thing for both of us."
Jo reports that now that teaching is over, she needs to leave them alone. Teaching has gone well, they know what to do. She asks the parents to support each other and really change their ways. Shelby is scared she can't do it. Jo wonders if Shelby will step up, and will Adam keep his temper?
DVD meeting
Shelby is apprehensive about the meeting. She knows they did well in some things and failed in others. Jo asks Adam how he's been doing. He feels he's been doing well. They review footage.
- Adam asks Joshua to sit in his car seat. He refuses. Adam tries counting to 10. He still loses it. Shelby tries warning Adam, but he won't stand for a child calling him names. "He's never behaved like this before, ever!" Adam says. He walks away and asks that Joshua just go to his room so he doesn't lose it. Jo points out that this is a control issue, for both Adam and Josh. When Josh pushes those buttons, Adam goes back to his old ways. He needs to work on that.
- Shelby attempts timeout. A twin freaks out and yells "Idiot!" at Shelby. But stayed there. Jo congratulates Shelby on not losing it. Timeout worked really well.
- Minutes later, Adam talks to one of the twins harshly about why timeout happened. Jo says Adam is too long-winded, it's too much for a 6-year old. And it feels like another timeout.
- The family is at a food court in the mall. One of the twins act out and Shelby drags him to timeout. When he still acts out, Shelby says he will have timeout at home. They go home, do timeout, and the twin apologizes. Jo says this is great and she's glad Officers Smith and Jones don't need to come out of retirement.
Video
Full episode on YouTube
In the news
'Supernanny' calms fireman's home and hearth - Arizona Daily Star, 2/1/2009.
Family members
- Adam Goldberg, 42
- Shelby Goldberg, 37
- Jacob and Joshua Goldberg, 6
- Jayden Goldberg, 3