Colleen Ann Christiansen (born April 24, 1976) (née Shanahan) is wife to Chris and mother of Corey and Chase. She is a stay at home mother scared of her youngest son.

When her children misbehave, she says, "That's not very nice," "Stop doing that!" and "Quit pinching me!" but doesn't give them consequences that would cause them to change their behavior. When they don't listen to her words, she just gives up, ignores and walks away. She feels she can only handle one child at a time, and if she has to deal with both of them, she doesn't know what to do. She cries as if her children are the most evil people in the world and doesn't seem to realize that her lazy parenting has made them this way.

She acts like another child; instead of disciplining her children when they misbehave, she just tells Chris when he gets home so he can take care of it (even though she doesn't agree with his methods of taking care of the problems and argues about it in front of the boys).

When Jo tells her during the Parent Meeting that she and Chris act like teenagers, she laughs and agrees that they need to grow up.

She also doesn't know how to play with her children. During Reinforcement, Jo spends a lot of time in the backyard demonstrating to Colleen how to play ball with the boys in a fun way (rather than a stationary, listless way).

She was 29 years old at the time and is now 42 in 2018.


  • "Don't hit Mommy!"
  • "Wait till your father gets home you're going to be in trouble, you're going to be punished."